Rajashri Joshi tells you how to learn to say 'no' at work without
jeopardising your job
Have you ever eaten more than you can
chew? Have you ever felt that you should've simply turned down an offer instead
of getting stuck in a situation you are not comfortable in? Do you 'always' feel
a compulsion to say 'yes' every time someone approaches you for help? Does saying
no leaves you feeling guilty for a long time? If you've answered yes to the above
questions, you may be the victim of 'How can I say no' syndrome. Those suffering
from this syndrome have it bad and can't do anything about it.
Quick ways to learn to say no
- Observe why other people say NO
- Find a reason why somebody
else is better at the task being given.
- Explain priorities of other
tasks and ask if the task can wait for a long time (obviously it will be delegated
and your NO accepted)
- Ask your boss how he would say no to something
- Do not qualify yourself for everything in the organisation
- Always
have a valid reason
- Buy time when possible and then say no by providing
a genuine reason
- Draw out plans and stick to them, that will make
it easier to say no
- Blame it on the boss that is of course that
you are confident that she/he will stand by you.
- Make a mean No!
Don't quibble. When you say no, mean it. Beware of your body language.
Finally, just say no. A clear no prevents misunderstandings, it keeps people from
going of in wrong directions and wasting time. And this requires practice. |
The first thing you should realise is whenever you are
approached at work for advice, ideas, projects you don't always 'have' to say
yes. In fact, sometimes it is better to say no and save yourself from a lot of
trouble.
When to refuse
"Saying no is
every person's prerogative, and it need not seem harsh or unkind, if said
the right way and on the right time," says Prof Rimmi Juneja, associate dean
HR, Welingkar Institute of Management. "When one is in the middle of several
projects or when you are not comfortable with a particular job/task, it is
advisable to say no rather than do a mediocre job," suggests Avirat Sonpal,
MD, 4004 Incorporated.
Other times when you should say no is for personal
reasons, when family or personal life is affected and when you have to compromise
your integrity or honesty.
"However there are times we say no because
of wrong reasons like personal beliefs and biases regarding the persons involved,"
warns Juneja. "If you say yes when you need to say no, you set a precedent
for future and chances are you will be taken for granted. People also perceive
you as person who is low in self-confidence and self image," adds Juneja.
"Sometimes people feel guilty about saying no to a request. But if you are
taking on tasks you can't handle just to appease your guilt, you are actually
not helping anyone. If you don't have the time to do something, say so and try
your best not to feel bad about it," says Sonpal.
Another tangible
affect of saying a forced yes is that you may not be able to complete a task,
which may adversely affect your increment, as tasks not completed may appear in
your KRAs.
No vs the nod
According to Sonpal,
when you say no, your superior realises your limitations and unrealistic
expectations aren't fostered. "Saying 'no' with a relevant reason also implies
maturity that an employee would have in realising his/her limitations.
Saying yes too often will lead you into the common trap of saying yes to the good
while simultaneously saying no to the best," he adds.
Says Venkatesh
Rao, CEO of TravelPort, "If you say yes all the time people become dependent
on you to do everything which will hamper your own productivity since mundane
tasks will be assigned to you when they could be delegated to others of lesser
skills. Also, you can not be a one-man army. You should always focus to be business
leader and learn to delegate that means at times say no to unimportant tasks.
Besides, overload kills." Juneja agrees, "People who say no the right
way, by being assertive are respected and acknowledged for being self assured
and confident. In the long run they earn credibility and respect for themselves."
Convinced? Now let's get to the heart of the matter, learning to say no and coming
out unscathed.
How to say it
"Saying
no at work is always a challenge, which to start with becomes easier when you
are clear about your personal goals, role, responsibilities and priorities therein
as set by the organization. Foremost, try and lose the guilt," says Juneja.
According to Rao, you must always give / explain the reason why you are declining
a particular task. "That is the only way to minimise damage. There is no
damage if one can reason why one is saying no," he says.
According
to Sonpal, one of the biggest blocks you may have is wanting to please other people
before you please yourself. The reason you say yes is often because you don't
want someone else to think badly of you. Knowing that you can never always please
everyone makes saying no easy.
- » Tell them yes, but
take control by saying you'll come back to them with a timetable. For instance,
say, "I expect I'll be able to do that for you by the end of the week."
- » Put a tough condition on your agreement. "If it would only
take an hour, I'd be able to help, but I can't give you more than that."
- » Say you would be willing to give it a thought and get back to
the boss with a confirmation on taking on the new task
- »
Refuse mentioning the pending tasks already on hand
- » Explain
to your boss that you don't have the necessary skills to complete this assignment.
- » Be polite but firm. If you can, use humour to diffuse the tension
out of the situation.
- » "Saying no is a required skill
if you wish to have any degree of focus in your life," advises Sonpal.
|
